[Photoshop’d by my good friend, Charles!]
First of all, special thanks to Steph & Charles for making my birthday card out of this photo, to help me visualize getting tanned as a mofo and competition ready. My first “oompa loompa” photo! lol Love you guys!
As some of you may know, from following my Instagram, YouTube or blog, I’m competing next year! I’ve committed to compete at the Leigh Brandt Muscle Classic on March 18th, 2017. That’s only 17 weeks away, which is not a whole lot of time to completely transform one’s body.
As the countdown begins, I want to share my journey with you – the ups and downs, and my learnings. I’ve actually been wanting to share for awhile now, but I had writers block. I didn’t know what exactly I wanted to share, and to be honest, I was little ashamed of my lack of progress.
Six months ago is when I officially made the decision to compete. The first few months were great! I started to clean up my diet, was meal prepping my lunches regularly, was consistently training hard at the gym, and my abs were starting to come through…then Summer hit, I had some life changes, and I moved to Downtown Vancouver. I allowed these events to completely distract me and throw me off track. I would still go to the gym consistently, but my workouts would be half-assed. I would still meal prep, but only made lunches and I would eat whatever else I wanted. Then, when I realized I wanted to pay more attention to my meal plan, I would buy only those healthy foods on the list, but I would eat too much of it! I wouldn’t portion control and I would snack all. day. long. It was getting ridiculous, but I kept eating and stayed in denial. I noticed that my pants were feeling tighter and I looked/felt more bloated first thing in the mornings, when I usually had a flat stomach upon waking. I finally acknowledged that I was getting in a bad habit of constantly eating, even when I wasn’t hungry and even when I was super FULL. It’s very possible that it was emotional eating, as I’ve been putting a lot on my plate lately (pun not intended) and under a fair bit of stress for the past few months…but if I want to compete, I need to learn to overcome this and build self-control and discipline!
Whenever I mentioned my struggle with keeping to my diet or brought up my 15 lb weight gain to friends or colleagues, they would say that I still looked fine, think I’m fit or healthy enough, or help justify my not so great eating habits. I can assure you that I didn’t tell them because I was digging for compliments…deep down, I was actually hoping someone would react in a way that would kick me into gear and validate that YES, I did gain a bit of weight and should smarten up and start focusing on my goals. I appreciate that they only had good intentions to make me feel better, and it’s not on them at all to get me back on track – it’s 100% on me.
There’s a fine line between being constructively critical of myself and being destructively insecure. The difference is becoming aware of what I need to improve on so that I’ll do well in my competition versus beating myself up and not growing from it. I believe that I’ve experienced both sides through the last few months, and yes, it’s a very fine line…but I’m ready to grow from this learning experience because DAY 1 (December 1st, 2016) of my OFFICIAL COMPETITION PREP is fast approaching!
How I’m overcoming this struggle:
- Measuring/weighing out my meals
- Preparing breakfast/lunch/dinner/snacks on a weekly basis
- Measure, weigh, and take progress pictures myself weekly
- Write affirmations related to my health, fitness, and self-discipline
- Stay connected with you here and on social media to help keep me accountable
Some may wonder why I bother to compete if it’s this much work – having to sacrifice indulging in certain meals, spending so much time at the gym, losing some of my social life, battling with willpower, struggling with this mental challenge… but in the end, it will all be worth it. I will have proven to myself and my friends/family/followers what can be done with 100% commitment and focus, I will have achieved my best bikini body yet, and I will have inspired others to challenge themselves and go after their goals. It’s pretty amazing what we can achieve when we pour our heart and soul into something. Yes, I know my stage body won’t last, and I don’t want to be that skinny/ripped on the daily, but I will be in the best shape of my life when I step on that stage. I love pushing my limits and I love challenging myself, it’s motivating! And when I feel motivated in one area of my life, I feel more motivated in ALL areas of my life!
After the competition, I plan to maintain a healthy, fit body while continuing to train hard and eat well. I want to continue to inspire others to be the BEST and HEALTHIEST version of themselves, in whatever way makes them feel confident and happy. We must always continue to grow, as that’s what makes us feel truly alive. And now I’ll leave you with this quote…
“Be yourself, but learn to be your best self. Don’t use being yourself as an excuse for laziness or mediocrity. Be what you ought to be. Stretch toward what you are created to be and in the stretching, you’re certain to become a better and more effective person.” – Bill Glass, former Cleveland Browns’ All-Pro
Your only limit is you! Never deny yourself of achieving your dreams, goals, and desires.